Get your own shoes...

I wrote this a few months ago and actually posted it on another blog. I wanted to post it here because I really want it to be a part of BSA.

Since we were little girls far too young to understand the real meaning of love, we’ve been fed a silly notion of true love. You know it: the dreamy stuff, the kind in fairy tales, where everyone lives happily ever after with birdies flying around their heads in the morning? Where the prince shows up with the most amazing pair of shoes you’ve ever seen. Nonsense. Utter ridiculousness. Sure, it sells books and videos to five year olds, but that sort of thing just ain’t out there. There is no ideal. Just the same way there is no perfect person.

Love exists in the world, in relationships, in the hope (and I don’t say that lightly) that perhaps it will find its most compatible counterpart in another. Call me jaded, but the likelihood of the love counterparts finding each other are slim to none. Does it happen? Can it happen? Sure. But there’s a leap of faith necessary. It doesn’t come easy and you have to take everything you know, everything that’s comfortable and disturbing, everything you’re afraid of and everything you dream about, you’ve got to take it and toss it – maybe never to see it again. If you win, you win big. But chances are (sorry to burst bubbles) you won’t. What sucks the most is when you think you’ve had it, or you’ve been convincing yourself you’ve had it, and then one day, Poof!, you realize you’ve been dreadfully wrong. That hurts. Hurts you of course, but really wounds the object of your formerly perceived affection. That’s life. Brush yourself off. Keep your head up.

Now before you think I’m all gloom and doom, there is some good to speak of. Yes, the odds are against you, but I’m one who always liked a challenge. If, and remember that if is a big word, you find it, you will be living in a way few have been lucky enough to appreciate. I don’t want to be sappy, but true love is an all encompassing, full body, life affirming, makes-you-believe-in-god experience. It’s when you experience love with all your senses. You can smell your love on your skin long after you’ve parted, you can taste their passion, you can hear the beat of their heart or a sigh of relief after too long apart, you can feel their joy, you can see their soul.

I guess to bring this whole thing together, I need to point out that if true love is what you’re after you can’t just sit back and wait for it to ride up a horse. You’ve got to risk everything. Throw it all away and leave yourself bare. Exposed. Scary? Sure. Dangerous? You’re not swimming with piranas. It depends how much you value love.  Whether you believe in it, want it, are willing to risk your whole life for a chance at living a little. If I’m alive, I want to be living. Just think: if you win, you win big. Screw the princess and the frog and the horse and the shoes. Get your own damn shoes. Make them stilettos. Find love. And if you do, fight like hell to keep it.