There's a reason...

Yesterday I was taking down my Halloween decorations. I balanced precariously on the porch railing in my best three inch heeled boots and took down the ghosts that had been blowing in the breeze, I unplugged the electric pumpkins, tossed the real ones in the woods to decompose,  unearthed the tombstones, and decided to let the silver sparkle skeleton I called skinny finally get some rest for those weary bones. Bye fellas, hang in the basement with the Easter Bunny stuff until next year, ok?

So, as I was balancing so gracefully there on the ledge in my Prada's, praying not to fall face first into the bushes, a car approached. Inside, a dear, sweet, treasured friend. Yay. I needed company, someone to share  peanut butter and jelly on english muffins with, someone to smile with, someone to vent with. "Here, you carry the ghosts. Let's go to the basement, we can count his Converse sneakers, It'll be fun." She made me take a picture of all 18 pairs, lined up like little Chuck Taylor soldiers. haha

We haven't known each other long. Our kids brought us together and it is her contention that had it not been for the kids we likely wouldn't have been friends. I'm not so sure, but I will get to that later. We've known of each other for a little over a year, and we've been friends since probably last April or May. We're both in shit up to out ear lobes, very different shit varieties, but hey.. shit is shit. Let's call her Ty.

She came in the house clearly on a big dose of mojo. I always know this when she asks to bum a cigarette. She said that she had a revelation of sorts. That she had figured things out for us. Hmm... was there a wand in her clown car? (btw, she has a little car, and she has three kids and all their stuff, and she manages to transport them everywhere: the beach, splish splash, 16 hours to Canada, ALL WITHOUT A DVD....a domestic goddess, for sure!)

She said that we had found each other, that we had been sent to each other, for a specific purpose. Each of us with our shit raining down, together we found some peace in the eye of that storm. We have cried together, she's been involved in my dangerous liasons (her kids think Blue is my dentist), I've changed her daughter's diapers and carried that little girl two miles in my arms, her husband has given endless piggy backs to my boys, her mom made chicken pot pie and I ate it. And now, just as the squatter in my basement is about to leave (PRAY! GOD SPEED!), Ty is leaving too. Packing up the clown car and heading west. Just when my life is balancing out and I'm able to breathe a little easier, I'm gonna be watching tail lights. All of this I ironically learned just before I was headed to the attorneys office to finalize the settlement agreement. I met the lawyer in tears, he asked if I was reconsidering. I laughed in his face and then grabbed him by his shoulders and bawled... my closest friend here is leaving.

Her leaving will mark the end of the her shit storm and the beginning of the next chapter for her and her family. The irony in the timing is so sad.

"2011 is gonna be our year," she said pumping her fist and reminding me of Tony Robbins. "We suffered enough and look, the wind is shifting and things are changing. He's leaving, you'll be free and so much more at ease...  and me and the fam are finally gonna get out of here." That's what she said, but what I heard was more like, "He's leaving. I'm going. You stay."

Shit, Ty. Just when we were gonna get a chance to really have fun. Are we only meant to be stormy forecast friends? Can we not be fair weather friends too? Isn't it usually the other way around? People only want to be your friend when things are good, not in times of trouble?

She thinks that had it not been for the cosmic pull that god put in place that propelled us together, we'd never be friends. That we're unlikely friends. She says I'm a Nassau County girl (though she has converted me to a 631 area code appreciator) , and she's from Suffolk. She's got a cat that pees on her, and I wash her sweaters. She eats cherry turnovers on Tuesday afternoons, I drink diet coke and frozen yogurt with sugar in it and think I'm living large. To be fair, she's had a hand in the transformation of Grace. We baked pies, apple and pumpkin, and then she handed me a fork and we ate. I broke my full fat dairy virginity with her over toasted almond gelato. Her facebook picture is one I took of her. Her hair blowing in the breeze at the beach. She's adopted my favorite retort, "YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?".

Again I say, shit Ty. I know you have to go. I want you to go and live out your Motor City dreams. But the selfish side of me wants you to stay with me. So we can go to the movies and eat m&m's for dinner, so we can drag the kids to diners throughout Suffolk county, we have so many more pies to bake and pots of soup to cook. My god, I don't know how to get to the barber in Northport without you.

But I will tell you this. I stand strong in so many ways because of you. And when you leave I will be crying huge, wet, gum ball-sized tears (like I'm doing now).... because I will miss you so desperately. But inside, past the wet cheeks and all that, I will be smiling so broadly for you, for me, for us, that we got past the storm, weathered it together and are headed both of us for blue skies.

I need tissues.