Love, rain down on me

it's pouring tonight where i am. sheets and sheets of cold autumnal rain pouring down and drenching everything. weather man says it isn't going to get better and that by morning the winds will be picking up to fierce levels. it's ok, i feel grounded.

i suppose this is a good place to start.

let me introduce myself, although  haven't quite yet decided what to call myself yet. we can get back to that later.

who am i? let's see... I'm 35, a mother of three, a daughter, a sister, a friend. i'm passionate, funny, impulsive, too sarcastic for some, have been described as "the most insecure secure person" ever, an athlete, let's see, what else... oh right, and i'm soon to be divorced.

but it's ok, really it is. don't get all freaked. i'm fine with it. great in fact. can't freaking wait.
now you're thinking that i must be delusional too, right? this chick with no name, she ought to add delusional to the list above, right.
no, no, no. i'm not delusional. in fact i am far from it. for a long time, i lived with disillusion. it's only recently that i lost the illusion, saw what was really happening around me. losing the illusion kinda sucks. imagine if everything you ever knew, everything you ever assumed about yourself and your life and the people who supposedly love you... suddenly got sucked out the window of a 747 at 35,000 ft. all of it blown to smithereens, getting stuck in clouds, crashing to earth, spontaneously combusting. yea, that was really fun for me. great time. but you know what... all that stuff that got sucked out, it left space in its wake for me to really decide, decide for me, what i was going to make out of my life, my reality. i got a chance to decide who i am, who i'm going to be.  perhaps that is why i don't want to name myself just yet.

the fact that i found love, that love found me after the whole window sucking incident...  that's just the comical genius of the universe for you. what i found when i found me, well that's my Blue sky.

and that, my friends, is why i am grounded tonight here in the middle of the storm. because i got a second chance at me. and no matter what the forecast, i'm finished with clouds.