what a day

Today was one of those perfectly perfect kind of days.

The leaves were in all their colorful glory; reds and yellows and oranges, and the way they contrasted against the blue sky, it's was a whole palette of color exploding in front of me.

The weather was outstanding today here where I live. Unseasonably warm for the end of October. The perfect day for a tee shirt, my favorite jeans and some chic ballet slippers. A ponytail, sunglasses. All set.

Blue and I had planned on disappearing for a while. You know, kind of stop the clock, steal a few moments, forget about the proverbial storm outside. But frankly, it was too nice to play inside.

We took a drive. Someplace remote, far enough off the beaten path that we knew we wouldn't see anyone we knew. We went to the next county, drove way down through town to a little beach park on the bay. I packed lunch. A blanket. Manhattan Special espresso soda.

One of the things that tends to be so frustrating for us is the fact that we can never really do "normal" stuff. You know, grab a slice of pizza, go to a movie, linger over coffee at the bakery up the road, etc. For now, and believe me I hate this, we have to do a lot of undercover subterfuge. Frankly it sucks. Meeting up in parking lots, hiding, driving around with one eye in the rearview at all times, ugh. I realize that if this is what we want, then this is the way it has to be, at least for the time being. It feels dishonest at times and there are days I feel like an undercover operative on surveillance, or maybe I'm the one under surveillance... I don't know.  Today wasn't like that. It was real and so fabulously, wonderfully "live out loud" normal that I almost cried.

We walked along the beach. Something so simple, yet it has been something that he and I have fantasized about for so long. We skipped rocks, dug our toes in the sand, watched kids playing on swings. There was a dock at the far end of the beach. Deserted and partially falling apart, we walked out to where it was safe and spread out the blanket. We dangled our legs over the side, gazed across the bay at the amazing houses on the shore, watched ail boats and took it all in. Silly as it may sound, we couldn't believe that there we were, under that great big blue sky together.

Lunch:
Farfalle with sundried tomatoes and mozzarella cheese
Grilled chicken on whole wheat baguette with tapenade, grilled zucchini and goats cheese
Grapes
Biscotti and baci

He took a bite and held out the sandwich to me. Fed me pasta. Told me he loves when I eat. He fed me some more.  I couldn't get enough of the setting or what we were eating. The seagulls eventually moved in to see what was on the menu but by then there was nothing left.

After we ate, I laid back and put my head on his lap. He ran his hands through my hair and traced his fingers across my eyebrows. That feeling, his hand son my face, feeling his warmth next to me, his face framed by the sky above, JUST BEING THERE  WITH HIM, there was nothing more that either of us could have asked for.

We all get caught up in the "doing" of things, when really what we need to focus on is being. Being together, someplace doesn't matter where, taking everything around you in, enjoying and living in that moment. Wow. I felt so alive. So did he. It was one of those days that we'd been waiting for, that we really needed.

We didn't do anything. We just were. It's days like these that make all the difference.
Thank you Blue.